Monday, June 13, 2016

Heidi Van Wagenen Thackeray


Heidi is a Southern California girl. She was born in Fullerton close to LA at St. Jude's hospital. She was raised in El Cajon just outside of San Diego. She loves Southern California and the beach where she grew up about 20 minutes away. She has 3 older brothers and is the oldest of 3 girls that followed.

Heidi's favorite thing about growing up was her family. She loved how safe and peaceful her home felt. The spirit was there, and even her friends who were not LDS commented on the special feeling that was in their home. Because of the wonderful family she was given, she feels the weight of the scripture, « Where much is given much is required. »

She entered Middle School as any student would, happy, full of anxiety, and pre-teen angst. At the end of 7th grade, she went in for a routine health examination that all schools used to administer. They checked Heidi's spine and realized she had slight case of scoliosis. They informed her and her parents but were told it wasn't that big of a deal at the present.

But that summer the situation with Heidi's back quickly turned. It wasn't “no big deal”. In fact it became a very big deal. She spent the summer in so much pain. Her back and stomach hurt because the bones along her back were shifting and her muscles were fighting to pull it into alignment. Heidi's mom took her back to the doctor and found out over the summer Heidi had gone from a 20% curvature to a 45% curvature. The family started looking into options. They consulted a chiropractor and 2 orthopedic surgeons. After careful contemplation and much prayer, they decided surgery was needed.

To make matters worse, because of Heidi's physical problems regarding her back, she started getting bullied at school. When the bullying started, Heidi's mom decided enough was enough. She pulled Heidi out of school a little earlier than they expected and arranged for a tutor to home school her immediately. Heidi was then home schooled until the end of eighth grade. Surgery was a great blessing to Heidi. In fact, it stopped most of Heidi's back issues until after the birth of her 3rd child.

Heidi says the things she went through in regards to her back were a great trial but also a great blessing in her life. It humbled her from a very young age. It made her learn to completely rely on the Lord and His spirit for direction. Not only that, but the tutors she had while home schooling helped her to see things from unique perspectives as well. One was a former nun and one was a total hippie. This combined with the many friends Heidi had of different faiths gave her a great acceptance and love for people of diverse backgrounds.

After recovering from her surgery, she went on to have a very fun high school experience. She was a part of the performance choir at her High School and was recruited by the wrestling coach to be a manger for the wrestling team. She developed a great love for the wrestling coach who had graduated from BYU but was not LDS. He did however love the LDS kids. Because the wrestlers knew she was LDS, they would often ask her challenging questions about her faith. This was a great testimony builder to Heidi as well. When she turned 16, Heidi started dating a boy in her ward who had recently moved from Salt Lake City. She liked listening to him talk about his group of friends back home. He said they did everything together and really helped each other choose the right. She was even able to meet this group of friends during a summer that she attended EFY in Provo. One of them was a guy named Tom Thackeray. She thought they were all awesome and wished she had a group like that in California.

After Heidi graduated, she went to Ricks College for 2 years. She loved it. She said she made many dear memories at the school. She loved how small it was and that you could really get to know many of the people. She still has close friends from her time there.

After graduating with her associates degree, she came home to California and started working in the mailroom of a big law firm downtown San Diego. She really enjoyed it there and had a memorable time riding the trolley to and from work every day. But after a year there, she started having a great deal of restlessness. She felt she needed to move on to a new adventure. After much prayer, she enrolled in BYU's summer program and moved to Provo. It was during that summer that she reconnected with Tom Thackeray. They started dating in June and were married in the San Diego Temple that December.

After they got married, they moved to Springville, UT. Tom went to BYU while Heidi worked at a health and wellness company. After they had been married a couple of years, Tom enrolled in the Army Reserves as a way to get career training. One month after enlisting, 9-11 happened. A few months later, Tom's unit was called to be deployed to an undisclosed location. He would need to go, and spouses weren't invited to join them. At first he was supposed to go to Turkey but the Turkish government wouldn't let the troops in, so Tom ended up in Watertown in upstate NY. Heidi having to stay behind transferred to the U and finished her degree in Human Development and Family Studies.

When Heidi graduated, they were tired of being apart, so Tom got permission to fly home to UT so he and he could drive back to Watertown, NY together.  All during this time, Heidi and Tom had been trying to get pregnant. It wasn't looking good. There appeared to be infertility issues with both of them. But while in NY Heidi found out she was pregnant. They were so excited. They planned a trip to Utah where they would share the news with their families. Unfortunately while in Utah, Heidi felt something wasn't right. Tom's brother who was an OBY/GYN brought her in for an examination only to find out there wasn't a heartbeat. They were grief stricken. Later in NY Heidi would miscarry the baby at a military hospital.

Tom finished his assignment in NY and they moved back to Utah and Heidi took a job as a Kindergarten teacher at Challenger school.  They were at the point in their baby quest where they had to consider IVF or adoption. She went in to start the process of IVF, but first she had to take a pregnancy test. Imagine her surprise when a nurse left a message on her voice mail delivering the good news: she was pregnant! Nine months later they welcomed Savannah into their home. Heidi then quit teaching and started her dream job of being a mother.

A few years later, the Thackeray's became pregnant with their son Benjamin. However, this time the delivery became a problem. Things were progressing normally for the most part, except the epidural they gave Heidi didn't appear to be working. After many hours, the doctor checked Heidi to see if she was fully dilated. A few seconds later, Benjamin's heart flat lined.

Luckily for Heidi and Benjamin, they were at a level 1-trauma hospital (one of only two in the state of Utah at the time). They immediately took Heidi in, opened her up to find out her uterus and uterine artery had ruptured. She was bleeding out of all her internal organs. They got the baby out, and immediately intubated him. Every 20 mins the doctor's assistant would bring back word to the family and it wasn't looking good. Finally word came back that Heidi and the baby would live. The doctors however told her not to expect much in the way of mental development for the baby. He had been deprived of oxygen for too long. But Benjamin surprised everyone. He met every milestone like any other baby and there appears to be no problems at all from his delivery. What a miracle he is!

The doctors told Heidi she probably shouldn't have any more children. But Heidi and Tom felt differently. They felt there was another baby that was supposed to join their family. So 2 years after Benjamin was born, Heidi became pregnant with Jacob. About 30 weeks into the pregnancy, Heidi started getting pains like she had had while delivering Benjamin. They immediately put her in the in hospital. They gave Jacob steroids to develop his lungs and delivered him at 34 weeks. It was particularly wonderful that Tom's brother was able to deliver Jacob.

Heidi’s interests include a love of writing, looking at family pictures (she can spend hours doing this), and helping people work through their problems. One day she hopes to be a counselor to at a Junior High or High School because she also loves working with the youth. 


What a great lady Heidi is. Her traumatic experiences have given her a wealth of life experience to draw on. She has learned that all these trials she has faced have be given for her growth and even though while she went through trials she couldn't see a reason, she has learned there is always a reason. She also has learned to consult and read carefully her patriarchal blessing. She said everything she needed to know and went through was in there. We love Heidi and are so grateful to have her in our ward.  

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